


Fake Funeral No. 5

by Laetus_Fabricor



Series: Vodka Aunt Ardyn - A Series of Semi-Fortunate Events [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Ardyn needs to be stopped, Fake Funeral, Humor, M/M, No big deal, Noctis has some regrets, POV First Person, Until he realises everything is fake as heck, Vodka Aunt! Ardyn, but only to set you up for the madness, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 08:29:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14328558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laetus_Fabricor/pseuds/Laetus_Fabricor
Summary: Noctis had always loved his uncle Ardyn (Brother of Kings, Uncle of Heirs and Immortal Figure of Salt and Shade, etc). He had always been there.He just never expected to be going to his funeral.Wait, this is his 5th one?





	Fake Funeral No. 5

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of the non chronological series: Vodka Aunt Ardyn - A Series of Semi-Fortunate Events!  
> As said in the tags there is a funeral and slight angst but it's really just to set you up for the humour and the general "What the hell" theme of this series. Enjoy!

I never thought I would actually attend my uncle's funeral. Mostly because he was  _ immortal  _ but also because... it was  _ uncle Ardyn _ , y'know? He drove me crazy, created alcohol concoctions that were basically poison, I'm pretty sure he murdered  _ at least _ 3 Nifelheim Emperors - I assume he also somehow stopping a war between Lucis and Nifelheim from even starting in the process - and... and he was my uncle. 

Sure he  _ wrekt _ stuff sometimes (all the time), but he was my uncle and watching as they lowered his coffin into the earth, I couldn't help but sniffle. This was the man who held me after nightmares and would coo at me when I was trying to be serious.

Trying desperately to keep the tears at bay, Nyx's warm hand immediately enveloped one of mine and somehow that just made me feel worse? Because uncle Ardyn wouldn't be there to hold my hand anymore or guide me. And to make it sadder, who would hold uncle Cor's hand?

Then, from behind me, a familiar voice asked: "Is this my funeral? I mean... it looks lovely but honestly Cor, you know I'm allergic to lilies! Why would you use them?!" Turning around, I really shouldn't have been surprised to see my -not so dead- Vodka Aunt. 

I really shouldn't have underestimated the 'Immortal' thing…

“I always knew you didn't like me, love." Ardyn huffed. The man’s hair was singed, his coat in tatters, tears and holes littered his shirt and his skin as well as his boots were caked in mud and it said a lot that this wasn’t the worst way we have seen him.

I watch as Cor scoffs and says "I'm pretty sure the lilies wouldn't have caused your allergies to act up if you were really dead and in the coffin. But if you are so adamant about it, we can change them to azaleas for your next fake funeral. What number are we on, anyway? Three?"

“Five, you only knew me long enough for the last three. Mors had to do one a few decades back before you were Crownsguard and then there was my brother, but let’s not talk about him.”

And that kids, is how I knew my life was officially mental.

And  _ yes _ , I did glare at Nyx when he snorted at uncle Ardyn and uncle Cor's banter; he should have known better than to encourage them.

**Author's Note:**

> So yh! Ardyn has had 5 fake funerals! The reason why Noctis is unaware to this is because the first 2 were done before he was even born, and the first 2 that Cor arranged generally happened before Noctis was either old enough to understand what was happening or he wasn't born yet.


End file.
